Prone to Wander.

I don’t want to talk about You like You’re not in the room
I want to look right at You I want to sing right to You

I believe that You are listening
I believe that You move at the sound of my voice

Give me dove’s eyes

Give me undistracted devotion for only You

These song lyrics are so heartfelt. My favorite line is “give me undistracted devotion for only You”. That has been my prayer for the last few days and I have seen monumental heart changes and attitude changes in my life. I feel like my heart is coming to the right place and my passion for what i do everyday is more centered on Jesus than ever. I am so excited to glorify God in new and creative ways in my life. I have been praying before everything these days-working out, studying, hanging with friends, everything. I can’t believe the impact it has had on my heart. I have been pretty stressed and in a crummy grumpy mood lately and God has taken a way a lot of the “fierceness” and helped me push past my grumpiness and continue to love people even when it’s hard. I am so hungry for more of what He wants to show me, it is sooo exciting for me :). Today i’m studying all day at the library and tonight I’m going to have date night with Jesus and really focus on Him. Im excited to just be at peace with Him and to rest in His Grace and Peace. I want to believe that He “moves at the sound of my voice”. I have continued to go to Him in prayer and He has come through big time! Amen.

These song lyrics are amazing and came on as I was posting the previous note. God works in truly mysterious ways. Read these lyrics and if you want to, read the post i just made like 15min ago :)

Your Hands- JJ Heller

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world 
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when…

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave…
I never leave Your hands 

“‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed’ says the Lord who has compassion on you.”

This verse kind of knocks my socks off. Though my world may literally be crumbling around me, the hills are being moved left and right, or figuratively, I feel like my own world is crashing down, I don’t have to questions whether my Saviour will be there right next to me. What a promise! This verse from Isaiah really hits home with my own personality because I feel like I can be a drama queen sometimes. I feel like I have even said once in a while, that my world is falling apart. This verse speaks directly to that fear and says, so what, your personal world may feel like it’s crumbling, but guess who made that world, and all the other worlds, and the entire galaxy, yep, it’s me, Jesus.  

I love the ending of this verse where it says, “the Lord who has compassion on you”.  God is identified as the author of this verse, and He has chosen to bless me with compassion. He realizes that I tend to dramatize my life and get crazy and not fully rely on Him to provide a solution, yet He always has compassion on my doubt, always.  I constantly put relationships and earthly solutions ahead of my Saviour and by doing this, I eclipse the wonder and promise that He has given me. I overshadow His beauty and Grace by my ugly humanness and sin. But thankfully, I am serving a God of Compassion and Mercy, and He forgives me for my heart idols that I place before Him.

The verse in Isaiah 54 continues and talks about how God is ultimately the one who gives power to everything, even our hardships. He created the, “destroyer to work havoc”(v.17). God is behind everything and is ultimately working for our good. God practices tough love, and sometimes allows hardships into our lives to teach us and help us grow. But through all these hardships as He promised in verse 10, He will be with us. The chapter ends with a declaration from God with a promise of victory over our enemies. “No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you”(v.17). Not by our power, but by His, will we be victorious.

It seems silly but daily  I put heart idols (relationships, my pride, financial security) ahead of my Jesus, the creator of the universe. Why would I think that these things are worth putting ahead of The First and the Last? My prayer is that my heart be transformed and captivated by God’s promise of love and presence for our entire lives and I look to Him first, above all else. 

My friend found this little gem on stumble upon and i thought it was pretty cute so i thought i would share.

I Believe… 

That just because two people argue, 
It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. 
And just because they don’t argue, 
It doesn’t mean they do love each other. 

I Believe…
That we don’t have to change friends if 
We understand that friends change. 

I Believe….
That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. 

I Believe…
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. 

Same goes for true love. 

I Believe…. 
That you can do something in an instant 
That will give you heartache for life.. 

I Believe…
That it’s taking me a long time 
To become the person I want to be. 

I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with 
Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.. 

I Believe… 
That you can keep going long after you think you can’t. 

I Believe…
That we are responsible for what 
We do, no matter how we feel. 

I Believe….
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. 

I Believe…
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. 

I Believe…
That money is a lousy way of keeping score. 

I Believe…
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time. 

I Believe…
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you When you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.. 

I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry,  
But that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. 

I Believe…
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had 
And what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. 

I Believe…
That it isn’t always enough, to be forgiven by others. 
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. 

I Believe…
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief. 

I Believe…
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, 
But, we are responsible for who we become. 

I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find 
Out a secret. It could change your life Forever. 

I Believe…
Two people can look at the exact same 
Thing and see something totally different. 

I Believe…
That your life can be changed in a matter of 
Hours by people who don’t even know you. 

I Believe….
That even when you think you have no more to give, when 
A friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help. 

I Believe…
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. 

I Believe…
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon

It’s days like these that make me so glad that I am a child of God and intimately loved by Him because I feel like a dirtball. My heart aches today. It feels like it’s always in the wrong place with the wrong motives. All these crazy blessings of people, relationships, and opportunities are thrust into my lap and all I can do is watch them drop to the floor. This heart issue is directly related to the lack of time I spend in The Word. On days where i feel calm and collected, with my heart in the right place are the days that I am actively seeking God alone and nothing else. No relationships with people to further my networking circle or no focus on guys or beauty or my weight or my appearance, nothing but Christ. Tonight I feel like there is a lot of junk inside my heart and it is clogging my relationship with Jesus. So tonight, i’m going to lay all my cards on the table and ask God to come sort out the mess of my life that I have recently been creating.