Prone to Wander.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” - C.S. Lewis

Lord I want to be vulnerable. Amen.

WOW!! Tonight was absolutely fantastic and I feel so overwhelmed with God’s presence. He has definitely lifted me up from a pit of despair tonight that I had been wallowing in for a few days. Tonight I had the privilege of watching one of my beautiful residents, Kayla, perform at the African American Voices Gospel Choir Winter Showcase!! It was so amazing and God’s presence was so strong. I literally could not stop smiling for the entire performance. Seeing all of these students, parents, grandparents, friends, and family all swaying to the music and praising the Lord was almost too much to bear! The choir was so sincere and so overcome with praise for the Saviour, it was impossible not to feel it yourself. I feel so blessed to have been invited to share in this amazing show :)

Tonight also made me realize how much God has blessed me in my life and how rarely I recognize that and praise Him for it. I have no trouble asking God for blessings, for protection, for help, or any other requests but I don’t praise Him nearly as much as I should. God is so alive and present on Ohio State campus and throughout the world and I desire to open my eyes more to what He is doing. God is moving. 

These past few nights I have been wallowing in regret and sadness and piting myself for a whole array of situations and things that have happened recently. God totally shattered all the lies that before tonight I was previously holding onto about my self-worth, my body image, the necessity of approval from people, and an overall sense of worthlessness.

God totally met me where I was tonight and just showed me how many special people He has placed in my life and the ability they have to positively impact my life and how I can impact theirs. I am overflowing with love for myself, for my residents, friends, and family. 

It is a constant battle to not let the world determine my self-worth or to let certain people determine how I feel about myself. My identity is in Christ and Him alone. 

I pray that everyone can feel overwhelmed by the love Christ has for them, as OSU students head into finals week, as families re-unite over spring breaks, and as life proceeds, lean on Jesus and He will come.